Things Lawyers Like

Item 1 - Old Law School Textbooks

Nothing makes a lawyer feel more secure than sitting in an office with a bookshelf that includes several large law school textbooks. These books help lawyers forget that their law school training actually did not teach them anything practical. Sometimes if an issue comes up that confuses a lawyer, he or she will consult one of these textbooks while saying “I know I learned something about that in this seminar that I took.” This search is almost always futile.

A lawyer will also usually display old textbooks in a home office or den in order to give the room a sense of authority. These textbooks will often be interspersed with other important non-fiction books such as a presidential biography or “The Tipping Point.” These allow lawyers to say things like “I’m not a psychologist, but I think I know why people eat junk food.” If you ask a lawyer about any of these books, be prepared for a long story about an old professor or a barrage of relatively useless factual information. It is best not to touch these books as they are one of a lawyer’s most cherished possessions.