Local Attorney’s New Suit Fails to Meet Expectations

Despite high hopes, early reports indicate that local attorney Matt McMichael's new suit is going largely unnoticed. Michaels, a fourth year corporate attorney at LePeters & Patterson LLP who normally wears some combination of gray and black dress pants with a blue or white button-down shirt, came up with the new suit idea after he received a $150 Visa gift card from his grandparents for Christmas. On December 27th, he consulted with a sales associate at his local Macy's and decided that a Black Calvin Klein Pinstripe Suit would "make the best statement at the office."

McMichael initially envisioned receiving additional attention from clients as a result of the new suit, but quickly remembered that he had not been to a client's office in almost a year. His next thought was that he might have a video conference with attorneys in other offices, but that idea soon faded since those practice group meetings normally take place on casual Fridays. Forced to lower his expectations, Peters decided to unveil his new pinstripe suit this past Monday in an attempt to show the work week that he means business.

So far, the only comment McMichael has received was a "Why are you wearing a suit?" inquiry from a confused paralegal that stopped by his office to drop off some due diligence binders. McMichael did try to get his assistant's attention by stopping by her cube to see if he received any mail, but she just responded with an "uh, no" without even looking up from her Google chat session.

Despite the limited exposure, McMichael plans to continue wearing his coat and tie throughout the afternoon; even during a two hour conference call he has scheduled for 3PM. McMichael also purportedly plans to stop by a couple of fellow associate offices on his way to "a pro bono meeting." Faced with the "Why are you wearing a suit?" question, he plans to answer with "Don’t hate the player, hate the game" or something similar. McMichael may also give the recipient of his witty comment a couple six-shooter gestures as he backs out of their office.

Regardless of the afternoon’s result, it is highly likely McMichael’s new suit will be headed back into his closet until his next friend’s wedding.