Jury Unable to Reach Unanimous Decision on Lunch Order

In a development that will certainly lift criminal defendant Freddy Master’s spirits, the 12-member jury empanelled for his trial on charges of aggravated assault and unlawful possession of a firearm was unable to reach a unanimous decision today on whether to get pizza or sandwiches for lunch. Since the court does not permit juries to place "mixed" lunch orders, the stalemate was a devastating blow to those who skipped breakfast.

According to second-hand reports, the lunch discussion, led by de facto jury foreperson Claudette Platt, started out smoothly with most debate centering on the issue of toppings. Consensus started to falter, however, when previously silent juror number 7, Kevin Holbert, stated that he was sick of pizza since he had it for dinner last night. As soon as Holbert spoke up, other jurors started to indicate displeasure with their previous vote for pizza.

"I hadn't really thought about my lunch vote until that juror number 7 guy spoke up," explained juror number 4, Stephanie Jackson, when Litination reached her for comment while she was standing in line for the communal juror bathroom. "When Claudette mentioned pizza I was excited, but then I remembered that I had pizza twice this past weekend and I also like sandwiches so I just got really confused about what I was thinking."

Ms. Platt tried to regain the group's focus by having each juror say one thing positive and one thing negative about sandwiches, but this failed to get the group back on board with voting for pizza. At first, it seemed like the idea was working, but when it was Kevin's turn to speak the wheels came off the wagon. After stating his negative (sandwich rolls are sometimes hard to chew) he made an impassioned plea for the use of pepperoni on an Italian hoagie as opposed to adding them to a plain cheese pie.

At the time this story went to print, the most recent secret ballot indicated an 8-2-2 split with 8 still in favor of pizza, 2 indicating a preference for sandwiches and 2 votes for a new entry, salads.