When explaining his firm's move away from giving people raises ("ending lockstep"), Reed Smith's chairman, Greg Jordan stated that "The most painful conversation you can have with a client is to tell him that that all of a sudden, you’re charging more for an associate just because the associate has aged a year." Wow, did a Reed Smith attorney really ever have this "painful conversation" with a client and use that line of reasoning? So much for the firm's "The Business of Relationships" slogan. If Reed Smith can't convince a client to pay more for an attorney who has gained a year of experience working on its matter, how do they convince that client to pay partner rates in excess of $600 an hour? When will a law firm own up to the fact that its slashing salaries because the current supply of young lawyers exceeds the demand?
Friday, October 30, 2009
This Week's Sign of the Legal Apocalypse
Thursday, October 29, 2009
New Firm Photo Leads to Lawsuit
Former Clyburn second-year associate and college gymnast, Monica Upshaw, has recently sued the law firm for the harassment that she received as a result of her photo spread. According to the complaint filed in federal court, the looks and calls Upshaw received once her firm profile went public drove her to quit her job and have ruined her chances for future employment in the legal community. The profile, which included the tagline “I’ll do flips for you,” has since been taken down by Clyburn, but was attached to the complaint. It showed Upshaw in three different photos. The first was a standard full-body shot in business attire; the second was the same pose in a leotard; and the third was a mid-air shot of Upshaw flipping over her desk while holding a laptop. According to Upshaw’s complaint, after her firm profile picture was changed “against her will,” co-workers began to comment on her body. Most frequently she received comments such as “now that I’ve seen you, I’m a believer.” Partners also allegedly asked Upshaw to perform flips and splits in front of clients. A process that she found “more degrading than anything she’s done besides typing up notes from conference calls or coordinating travel plans.” Some predict that this lawsuit is only the tip of the iceberg. “I have a friend who just went through the whole re-branding experience at his law firm,” reported a disgruntled attorney when approached for comment on this story by Litination. “He’s a larger man who used to get the utmost deference from clients and opposing counsel. Now, however, he almost always gets a ‘how’s it going big guy’ when he talks to someone he’s never met. He even told me that recently when a party forgot to mute their phone on a conference call he heard someone singing the ‘five dollar foot long’ Subway jingle after he announced his name. That’s going to be a huge claim (no pun intended).” Maybe the rush away from headshots wasn’t the best idea. Isn’t it common knowledge that most lawyers are more cut out for radio than for TV?
Consistent with its new slogan “Seeing is Believing,” Atlanta law firm Clyburn & Murphy LLP recently made a decision to revamp its website. Gone are the black and white headshots of attorneys that are so frequently found on law firm websites. In their place are color spreads of three photos (including at least one “full-body shot”) for each attorney. The goal? Let clients see a different, more personal side of their lawyers. The result? A sexual harassment lawsuit.
Monday, October 26, 2009
Associate Photo Caption
"Is anybody as excited as I am to see the Chris Rock movie, Good Hair? I think I have a shot at starring in one about white women. Seriously, this wig I'm wearing cost me like a thousand dollars."
Read More......Friday, October 23, 2009
This Week's Sign of the Legal Apocalypse
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Judge Excludes Manny Ramirez Defense
Earlier, today, in a big blow to public defender Walker Milford, Los Angeles Superior Court judge Aaron Appleton refused to instruct the jury on what has been labeled the "Manny Being Manny" defense. This ruling is the latest setback for attorneys around the country who have been trying to introduce a new defense based on the 12-time All Star. Attorneys have been arguing for the following jury instruction: if a defendant’s actions can be described as "Manny Being Manny," he or she should not be found guilty. Unfortunately for Milford, who wore dreadlocks to today’s court appearance in honor of the slugger, his appeal to Judge Appleton fell flat.
"Your honor 'Manny Being Manny' is just a way of saying that the rules can’t be applied in the same way to everyone," argued Milford. "'Manny Being Manny' means that you can be horrible at one thing in your life, like fielding or obeying the law, but be great in other areas like hitting or working the night shift. It means that you don’t have to always try your hardest to be successful and it certainly means that drug policies aren’t always clear to everyone."
In response, prosecutor Lorraine Evers was incredulous. "The last time I checked, 'Manny Being Manny' means getting your arse handed to you by the Philadelphia Phillies. It also means taking a shower while your team is trying to close out game four of the National League Championship series or faking a knee injury if you don’t really feel like playing. In other words, it means not caring and that’s exactly what the defendant in this case can ill afford to continue to do."
Judge Appleton quickly dismissed the proposed instruction. "Mr. Milford, this is the most ridiculous thing I have heard since somebody tried to convince me that Michael Jackson was healthy when he died. While I agree that the notion of 'Manny Being Manny' has become ingrained in popular culture, it has no place in my courtroom. I mean you have access to the insanity defense Mr. Milford, doesn’t that make your proposed line of argument unnecessary?"
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Partner Doppelganger
If Holland & Knight partner Gregory J. Digel
had a doppelganger it would be...
Monday, October 19, 2009
Lawyer Takes Decoration of New Office a Bit Too Far
Susan McCutchen has always had a knack for interior design. Her college dorm room was inspired by her favorite designer, Lilly Pulitzer, and was a big hit with the preppy crowd at the University of North Carolina, Chapel Hill. In law school, she was the only student who redecorated and re-painted her apartment based on the time of year. So when McCutchen walked into her new office at Holland & Knight, she had to take a moment to let the disappointment subside.
Already bored with her first assignment later that day, she had to stop to determine just what she could do to spruce up the white walls and beige carpet. Four hours later, she had a plan to create a “more inspired workspace.” After a quick trip to Pottery Barn, Target, and Calico Corners, she was ready to roll. First, she covered most of the carpet with throw rugs. Second, she put cushions on her window sill to make a comfortable reading nook and hung matching valences over the windows. Third, and finally, she installed lamps in every corner of the room.
After pulling an all-nighter getting the place “up to snuff,” McCutchen walked the floor to see how the other lawyers had designed their spaces. She was disappointed to find that most had opted for a couple of plants, pictures of friends and family on the shelves, and a painting or framed picture hung on the wall. Only one lawyer had anything close to a stylish work space and that was a guy named Javier in Corporate who had a dozen or so stuffed animals in his office, kept the overhead lights off and had something constantly generating a smell of incense and Indian food.
McCutchen’s efforts were initially a big hit on the floor as she has enjoyed a steady string of visitors to her office. When Holland & Knight’s managing partner found out about the “shenanigans” however, the customization efforts took a turn for the worse. She was initially told that the decorations must be taken down and everything restored to institutional bland in 24 hours, but after a long meeting with firm management, McCutchen was able to negotiate a compromise. She could keep the decorations as long as she agreed to live in her office three days a week.
Read More......Thursday, October 8, 2009
Bloomberg Law To The Rescue?
“Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the future,” beamed a confident Shawn Hoover, the President of the newly launched Bloomberg Law last night as he pitched his nascent company to a standing room only crowd of attorneys at the company’s offices in Manhattan. “Today, you can put your long days and nights of fruitless searching behind you. Bloomberg Law is here to save your day and quite possibly the entire legal industry!”
The key component to Bloomberg Law’s pitch is its proprietary search functionality, called “Snap, I Found It.” The company claims this technology will quickly make lawyers realize that the days of Westlaw and LexisNexis are numbered. According to Bloomberg Law’s promotional materials, the “Snap, I Found It” feature can handle the most ridiculous search phrases and locate the case law that can support even the most incomprehensible arguments. In very limited instances when a case can’t be located, "Snap, I Found It" will generate a comprehensive analysis as to why looking for the case in the first place was a really stupid idea.
Before the launch of this new functionality, lawyers' only options were the often disappointing “Focus” and “Locate” features offered by LexisNexis and Westlaw. These tools were of little help to lawyers who were given tasks like finding a case in Montana that allows for a defendant to avoid paying damages when the jury awarded a verdict for the plaintiff. With “Snap, I Found It,” the lawyer can confidently either locate the case or print out a Bloomberg Law certified response that such a case simply can't be found.
Lawyers everywhere are chomping at the bit to the use the new technology. “Honestly, I am really kind of angry at LexisNexis after making me press ‘focus’ on my searches all of these years,” explained an attorney who asked to remain anonymous out of fear that he'd lose his weekly free time. “Focusing is kind of my job so please just give me the results already.” Other lawyers claim that Westlaw’s ‘locate’ feature makes them feel ridiculous. “Locate? That's what I was trying to do with my initial search. Seems like there's a problem with the software and not the searcher," explained an annoyed attorney who identified herself as a 50-state survey aficionado. “I can’t wait for another option in the legal world."
Welcome Bloomberg Law, the Litination awaits your impact on the profession.
Read More......Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Apocalypse Now?
According to the AmLaw Daily, the four horsemen of the associate apocalypse will be named Bingham, McCutchen, Nixon, and Peabody. Is it only a matter of time before we see an article about associate death by a thousand salary cuts? Click on the picture below for the full story.
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Associate Photo Caption
"You try living with the burden of having to shave your forehead every morning. And for the record, no, I am not related to Peter Gallagher."
Read More......Friday, October 2, 2009
Small Shop Web Flop
Usually, our Small Shop Web Flops are focused on law firms that really should have put some additional effort into their internet presence. This week's installment, however, highlights (or lowlights) the website one of the nation's newest law schools (yes, more law schools are still opening), Elon University School of Law.
As I was reviewing this new school's Facilities page, the above photo popped up. At first glance, this looks like your typical law school classroom. A closer inspection, however, reveals the "Where's Waldo" quality of this snapshot. Check out how almost everyone in the class is busy typing out notes (or checking their gmail) on their laptop. Everyone, except the "third-career" student sporting overalls in the front row who is inexplicably glancing to the left with a "gosh, that guy looks like my great-grandson" look on his face. Come on Elon, it's about time you let everyone get access to your first-rate technology. If you don't, how are you ever going to be the "law school with a difference."
Read More......Thursday, October 1, 2009
Legalese - Bona Mobilia
