Showing posts with label Small Shop Web Flop. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Small Shop Web Flop. Show all posts

Friday, October 2, 2009

Small Shop Web Flop

Usually, our Small Shop Web Flops are focused on law firms that really should have put some additional effort into their internet presence. This week's installment, however, highlights (or lowlights) the website one of the nation's newest law schools (yes, more law schools are still opening), Elon University School of Law.

As I was reviewing this new school's Facilities page, the above photo popped up. At first glance, this looks like your typical law school classroom. A closer inspection, however, reveals the "Where's Waldo" quality of this snapshot. Check out how almost everyone in the class is busy typing out notes (or checking their gmail) on their laptop. Everyone, except the "third-career" student sporting overalls in the front row who is inexplicably glancing to the left with a "gosh, that guy looks like my great-grandson" look on his face. Come on Elon, it's about time you let everyone get access to your first-rate technology. If you don't, how are you ever going to be the "law school with a difference."

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Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Small Shop Web Flop

Here at Litination, our Small Shop Web Flops have typically focused on law firms. Today's entry, however, is a wag of the finger at Pinwin Litigation Support (thanks to Litination fan Craig for the tip).

It's true that adorable mascots can help with marketing (green gecko from Geico). But I'm at a loss for this Newark, New Jersey based firm's choice of a penguin. Especially one that takes your documents and crushes them in his briefcase.

Pinwit Lit has a different view. Their website indicates that their bespectacled standard bearer is so popular that he must be protected with a trademark. Maybe they are right. A quick search on Google indicates that Pacific Laser Systems, Performance Learning Systems, and the Peninsula Library System are just three of the many companies that could be on the prowl for a PLS bag-toting penguin mascot.

Maybe what Pinwit's trying to say is it's cold out there in the world of litigation support. If that's their angle, then I can only imagine that the guy pictured on their contact us page is all too ready to offer to warm you up.

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Monday, June 22, 2009

Small Shop Web Flop

With many Small Shop Web Flops, it's not only the poor site design that makes for a terrible web presence, but the seemingly never-ending, always fruitless search for a catchy slogan. The St. Louis, Missouri practice, The Underwood Law Firm, meets both of these telltale signs.

Not only is the website basic and still "under construction" since September of 2006, but their slogan takes the cake. "We Squeeze Money Out Of Lemons." Some people only make lemonade out of lemons, but the Underwood Law Firm is taking it to the next level. Maybe they can take some of this fresh-squeezed money and put it into upgrading their website?

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Thursday, May 28, 2009

Small Shop Web Flop

Attorneys who have been making big money on consultations beware! Pre-Attorney Services is an idea whose time has come. Ok, calm down, as you can see from the woman holding her hands-free headset with her hand on their homepage (pictured left), the only thing Pre-Attorney Services is likely going to help you with is your fast food order on your way to a lawyer's office.

The real meat and potatoes of the Pre-Attorney Services business concept is the idea of "Preventive Law." According to this notion, you can be like the "wealthy" and have a lawyer on retainer to answer your legal questions promptly and professionally for the bargain price of $14.50/month. Just look at the cartoon character judge and the woman attacking the law library to answer your questions. If they aren't worth $14.95, we don't know what is!

There is one problem though, the founder of Pre-Attorney services is not going to be easy to reach. According to the website, "he lives now on a river where he rides the various Jet Ski's in his stable of craft. His friends & our founder have an island surrounded by waterfalls where they get away from it all. They call themselves 'The River Riders' & they call him 'flipa!'" We call this whole thing one giant flop.

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Monday, April 27, 2009

Small Shop Web Flop

The practice of law can be rough and tumble. There's even a popular book called Litigation is War. This week's Small Shop Web Flop is a pretty savvy operation that wants to attract the client looking to go to battle. It seems only logical that this Philadelphia area lawyer would channel his inner Rocky while "fighting for your rights."

The only problem that we see is working that briefcase with the boxing gloves on. Maybe Mr. Ostroff has an associate who pushes the paper while he delivers the "knockout" verdicts?

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Monday, April 20, 2009

Small Shop Web Flop

Understandably, the issue of fees can be a touchy subject for a lawyer. For most firms, the issue is addressed privately at the initial consultation. Not so for the Warren Law Firm. This week's flop takes the approach of promoting its fees by likening them to a fun bike ride with a loved one. Interesting approach, eh?

A closer look at this website, however, quickly reveals that the person in charge of matching stock photos with certain sections might have been asleep at the switch. On "The Firm" section are the woman and child pictured on the right part of Mr. Warren's family? In the FAQs section the key question not listed is "Are you sure that guy isn't about to drop his baby?" And most importantly, is that really the office under "Contact"? Gulp.

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Monday, April 13, 2009

Small Shop Web Flop

A good slogan can make all the difference in the world. A bad slogan, well, that will put you in the company of the Law Offices of Stephen K. Miller. Mr. Miller & Friends (pictured above) have tried to capture the essence of their practice with the slogan "For Your Law." Huh? Does this mean that when a client comes in with a problem/question/idea "their law" will apply? Good luck living up to that standard Steve!

For those Litination fans with small children, the Stephen K. Miller law offices provide a simple game to use at home. Click back and forth between the homepage and the "Attorneys" page on the site and see if your kids can pick out who's missing and who's in a different order!

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Monday, April 6, 2009

Small Shop Web Flop

Lansing, Michigan attorney Stuart R. Shaffer (pictured left) is a confident man; and from the looks of his website, he should be. Mr. Shaffer has 30 years of experience and he was an assistant prosecutor. Then again, maybe it's simply the results you can get with Stuart by your side. Just look at the quote from his client in the famous "Ingham Country Dog Trial of 1990" on his firm homepage:

"If it hadn't been for Stu Shafer, my ass would have been in jail and my dogs would have been put in a shelter"

Stu Shaffer - he'll keep your ass out of jail. Gotta love the sound of that!

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Monday, March 30, 2009

Small Shop Web Flop

According to his website, Larry Miller, Jr., Esquire, "knows a thing or two about achieving success." He's the author of a book entitled "SUCCESS In Your Career and Personal Life - A How-to Guide." This glow in the dark page turner teaches "the secrets to success the successful people know but won't seem to tell you." Try saying that ten times fast.

I, for one, am going to skip the book. According to his website, the path to success seems clear. First, you wow them with finger pointing and pie charts. If they don't like that, you introduce them to your special friend, Mr. Baseball Bat.

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Monday, March 23, 2009

Small Shop Web Flop

This week's SSWF isn't the smallest operation in town. That being said, even the biggest law firm probably doesn't need to worry about clients getting antsy because the picture slideshow is still not ready for public viewing. Also, the "System Status" feature seems a tad unnecessary for public consumption. The soothing fade between screens does, however, make me wonder why more of us in the Litination aren't choosing to practice in sunny Florida. Maybe it's the fact that the first link on the "Weather" page is a PDF of the 2007 Hurricane Survival Guide?

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Monday, March 16, 2009

Small Shop Web Flop

For most bankruptcy attorneys, down economic times mean business is booming. Somebody, however, needs to clue in attorney Jennifer Benedict out in Missouri. From the looks of her empty desk, business is a little slow right now. If a prospective client does stop by, maybe he or she will help Ms. Benedict reach one of her pens which seem oh so far away. And can anyone figure out why this site is all about bankruptcy but traffic violation and DUI/DWI are also listed as practice areas? Maybe these were Ms. Benedict's areas of focus when the economy was booming? The Jennifer Benedict Law Office

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Monday, March 9, 2009

Small Shop Web Flop

According to this week's flop, you need an attorney "you can count on and trust..." Now, don't take this the wrong way, Litination is not attacking Steve Hunter. The exclamation point after his firm name shows us that he's fired up about the law, but Mr. Hunter has some work to do to build our trust.

First, with that picture of fingers at the top of the website, it looks like someone is flipping us the bird. Second, Mr. Hunter lists "Buckskin Boy Scout Council" under the "Active" section of his website. Check the Council's website though and Mr. Hunter is nowhere to be found. Say it isn't so Steve!

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Monday, March 2, 2009

Small Shop Web Flop

If I was represented by The Baehr Law Firm, I'd probably have a mental image of my attorney being one "bear" of a lawyer. Well, maybe not, but I am pretty sure I would not picture him as a tiger.

Also, if you're trying to look as tough as a tiger, I'd recommend not smiling and leaving the purple button-down in the closet.

The Baehr Law Firm

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Monday, February 23, 2009

Small Shop Web Flop

Want to give your clients the feeling that your firm is technologically savvy? Start a firm blog and update it frequently with relevant news and case law developments. Want to give your clients the impression that you're not technologically savvy? Start a firm blog and almost a year later have only one post that says your firm launched its website. On a side note: if Attorney Prior has been practicing law for the past 17 years, what was he doing the other 50 years of his life? The Prior Law Firm, P.C.

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Monday, February 16, 2009

Small Shop Web Flop

In honor of President's Day, Litination brings you this flop showcasing the perfect balance of three scales of justice with three American flags. With this much patriotism and a willingness to accept American Express, you bet your Lady Liberty that "You are going to feel a whole lot better" after your free consultation.

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Monday, February 9, 2009

Small Shop Web Flop

From what I've heard, it is true that divorce "closes one door, but opens many others." I certainly hope, however, that the attorney you hire to help you close that marital door doesn't look like a poster child for "I got divorced 10 years ago and I love my freedom, my book club and my sassy little dog Miss Independence."






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Monday, February 2, 2009

Small Shop Web Flop

Well, this one has Litination completely confused. Under his "RECENT VICTORIES" it looks like Joe Jardine is telling us about his own run-ins with the law. Also, why does the Mr. Jardine in the video part his hair on the left side of his head while the Mr. Jardine on the home page parts his hair on the right. Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde? There's got to be something fishy going on here if he's getting people acquitted in the face of "signed confessions and matching DNA evidence."

Jardine Law Offices

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Monday, January 26, 2009

Small Shop Web Flop

No matter what legal issue you face with Heidi, you can
rest assured she will be striking her signature pose.

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Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Small Shop Web Flop

There are three questions raised by this web gem.

1) How does one become "Pennsylvania's Premier Dog Bite Lawyer"?

2) Is it possible to have a full-time job as a lawyer if you ONLY handle dog bite claims?

3) Are the dogs pictured on this website infected with the virus from that Will Smith movie "I Am Legend"?

Jeffrey Harlan Penneys, Esquire

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Sunday, December 14, 2008

Small Shop Web Flop

According to this website, the first step in a successful criminal defense is making sure to picture the judge as having a lightbulb for a head.

R. Brent Hankins, PC

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