People’s Court to Resolve TV Circuit Split

Today’s announcement that The People’s Court will review Judge Judith Sheindlin’s (“Judge Judy”) decision in Kelly v. Albright means that a current split between reality television courtrooms should soon be resolved. The issue? Whether Bob Barker’s familiar plea for viewers of “The Price is Right” to have their dog spayed or neutered can be admitted as expert testimony.

In Kelly v. Albright, Judge Judy was presented with a dispute over the surprise neutering of a couple’s Doberman Pinscher by their pet sitter. The plaintiffs, Jeff and Mary Jo Kelly, sought compensation for emotional damages and loss of masculinity from 57-year old veteran pet watcher Linda Sue Albright. In defense, Albright claimed that she should not be liable for any wrongdoing because she was following her civic duty; a duty commonly espoused by TV personality Bob Barker.

Judge Judy immediately cut short Ms. Albright’s presentation of the Price Is Right clip that prompted her action on the ground that its introduction would constitute improper expert testimony. When Albright pleaded for the admission of the clip, Judge Judy simply responded with “zip it or we’re going to commercial.” Without the testimony from Mr. Barker, Albright’s only remaining defense was to claim temporary insanity; a clear loser based on her appearance on a television reality show. After a signature tongue-lashing by Judge Judy, Albright was ordered to sponsor a year’s worth of pet psychology sessions for the unnecessarily damaged Doberman.

Judge Joe Brown’s treatment of this issue in an October 12th episode cut the opposite direction. He admitted pet sitter Patricia Washington’s clip of Barker and then proceeded to rule against the devastated owner of a once manly pit bull. Judge Brown said that “a national treasure like Bob Barker, with a masterful knowledge of the vast array of games played on the Price is Right is clearly qualified to render an opinion as to the management of an animal’s reproductive organs.”

Judge Marilyn Milian of the People’s Court released a statement that the confusion plaguing the average, easily befuddled American as a result of inconsistent cable television judicial opinions must stop. “Now, more than ever, Americans need to know which TV personalities they can rely on. My opinion, the first appellate decision in the People’s Court history, will seek to help mend this growing hole in our national fabric.”