From what I've heard, it is true that divorce "closes one door, but opens many others." I certainly hope, however, that the attorney you hire to help you close that marital door doesn't look like a poster child for "I got divorced 10 years ago and I love my freedom, my book club and my sassy little dog Miss Independence."
Read all about it, newspapers are going the way of the dinosaurs. They are on their way out faster than George W. Bush on January 20, 2009. Well, ok, there is one bright spot in the newspaper industry; if you’re a lawyer, you will probably find it sitting under a pile of other, more important documents on your desk.
That’s right, the once a month, but still too frequent to read legal publication is showing no signs of slowing down. For a lawyer, these 8 ½ x 11 sized coasters are mandatory. Lawyers subscribe to these publications in order to show that they are keeping up with the latest news in their field. This “keeping up” consists of receiving these publications at their office and scanning the headlines or checking to make sure there is no chance that they were mentioned in one of the articles before quickly losing focus.
If a lawyer’s office does not contain a copy of “The (insert one of the following - ERISA/White Collar/Commercial Real Estate/Mergers & Acquisitions) Lawyer Monthly”, other more established lawyers will begin to question that lawyer’s dedication to his or her industry. On the other hand, if a lawyer writes something that appears in one of these publications, that lawyer will be able to reference the article on their internet bio and in conversation with other lawyers as evidence of their authority on everything tangentially relevant to that topic. This is even the case if the article was only published because nothing else interesting was submitted that month.
More importantly, though, the legal publication keeps the lawyer company while in the bathroom or during a really long conference call when the internet’s down. For that kind of companionship, the lawyer will forever treasure these publications as priceless.
Read More......If Sullivan & Cromell partner Gauthier Blanluet had a
doppelganger it would be...
For environmental attorneys like Leslie Abercrane, Al Gore’s trip to testify before Congress last week was another important step in what has become an increasingly awkward journey. As experts claim that mankind’s time on Earth is coming to an end, the often overlooked and rarely overworked environmental litigator is torn between going green and living the dream.
“The first time I realized I was conflicted by this whole global warning thing,” explained Abercrane when reached by Litination for comment last week, “was when I went with some girlfriends to see ‘An Inconvenient Truth.’ As they were gasping at clips of ice caps melting I had to work hard not to break out in a celebratory dance. I mean the money train’s rolling my way baby, and it’s spitting out a ton of pollutants that need to be more heavily regulated as it heads down the tracks!”
As the Obama Administration starts to pour some more gas back into the engine of government oversight, law firms everywhere are beginning to gear up for the expected uptick in environmental litigation and regulatory work. With a powerful payday waiting in the wings, environmental specialists like Abercrane have been finding themselves cheating on Mother Earth in the hopes of boosting their bottom line.
“Look, I’m all for efforts to reduce our dangerous reliance on carbon-based fuels. What I’m not in favor of however is getting this whole thing resolved too quickly. I’m 53 and recently re-divorced so I need to milk this moment in the increasingly warm sunlight as long as we can bear it,” beamed Abercrane as she took Litination in a spin in her new Cadillac Escalade. “When I have friends who claim that these regulations are going to crush American business and result in the loss of jobs I can understand their frustration, but what do they expect me to do, spend the rest of my career doing Superfund litigation?”
For support, Abercrane has taken to spending more time with friends who are bankruptcy attorneys. “At least they can understand the reality that not everybody has to be unhappy when the sky is falling.”
Well, this one has Litination completely confused. Under his "RECENT VICTORIES" it looks like Joe Jardine is telling us about his own run-ins with the law. Also, why does the Mr. Jardine in the video part his hair on the left side of his head while the Mr. Jardine on the home page parts his hair on the right. Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde? There's got to be something fishy going on here if he's getting people acquitted in the face of "signed confessions and matching DNA evidence."
Read More......
