Missing Disclaimer - Cash for Clunkers

While this program can assist a buyer with the purchase of a newer, smaller and more fuel efficient automobile, it in no way guarantees such vehicle will serve the needs of the typical, oversized American family. In fact, once certain necessary modifications* are made, some customers may find that their so-called clunker was actually more fuel efficient than their new vehicle. Cash for clunkers is a program of limited duration and should not be seen as an indication that the federal government will support future programs including but not limited to dollars for doughnuts, bills for botox or coins for camping.

*Such modifications include the addition of one or more of the following: a top carrier, a yuppie wagon, or the timeless U-Haul trailer.