Someone famous probably once said that being a successful lawyer is 90 percent about experience. So, it almost goes without saying that if you spend more than a passing moment with a "practicing attorney" you're almost certain to hear a good war story. You see, saying that lawyers like to talk about their past trial and tribulations is like saying that Oprah likes to eat. To be fair, part of it has to do with an attorney's constant need to affirm to clients that they're the right man or woman for the job.
Client (frantically): "I just received a call from the Jones Company and they're suing us for breach of contract, we need some help."
Attorney (nonchalantly): "The Jones Company? Don't they manufacture nail clippers? Let me tell you about a case I once handled for a client that specializes in hair clippers ..." (30 minutes later, client (worn down by exhaustion) agrees to let attorney represent him in case).
It's also an invaluable skill that an attorney can use to intimidate opposing counsel.
Opposing counsel (smugly): "Look, I'll give you 24 hours to accept my settlement offer or I'm filing a motion for summary judgment with Judge Hopstitch."
Attorney (chuckling): "Hopstitch likes summary judgment motions about as much as you like telling the truth. Look, I once had a case with Hopstitch where ..." (2 hours later the parties agree to settle the case for half of the original settlement offer)
The problem with attorneys' love of the war story is that it's really only acceptable conversation among other lawyers. Nothing takes the air out of a family gathering faster than a story from Uncle Eli about that motion in limine he once filed in one of his insurance recovery cases. So, a word to the wise, if you see another lawyer in casual conversation going down the war story path, try to steer the focus more appropriately back to the day's weather or at the very least make sure you're sitting in a comfortable chair.
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