Things Lawyers Like - Rules

Just imagine if a sports league had rules that governed the overall league, additional rules that applied to the individual divisions, and yet more rules that only applied to games played at each team's home field. For most people, that would be viewed as a royal pain in the rear end. For lawyers, however, this would be a dream come true. Why? Lawyers love rules.

To understand just how much lawyers love rules one need to look no farther than the code that the Supreme Court has set forth to govern the practice of law in federal courts. These rules, called the Federal Rules of Civil Procedure, are generally regarded with fear by attorneys. With 86 rules group in 11 chapters, these rules even put your standard credit card terms and conditions to shame. If you ever feel a need to test the lawyer’s fear of these rules simply mutter the phrase “pendent jurisdiction doctrine” in casual conversation with a group of attorneys. Odds are they will scatter faster than the audience from a Nicholas Cage movie.

Unfortunately for lawyers, these federal rules are only the beginning. District Courts, tired of always being told how to do their job by the Supreme Court have their own set of rules that seek to add another potential pitfall for the unwary lawyer. Lawyers are so concerned about breaking one of these local rules that even the largest of cases will involve a local lawyer who “knows the ropes.”

Individual judges also love to get into the rulemaking game. Since it took most judges such a long time to reach the high chair in the front of the room, they are basically allowed to do whatever they want. Yes, this includes wearing pajamas all day under their robes and making unbelievable rules. In essence, the robed members of the legal profession can generally establish “procedures” that are really code for weird nuances. These procedures must be followed at all costs or the lawyer will almost certainly be humbled in the name of judicial discretion.

Filing a motion in Judge Buttercup’s court? Make sure you place an asterisk in the lower right-hand corner of every third page. Filing motions in limine before Judge Wimpleton? Make sure you get them in two days and three hours before the deadline stated in the pre-trial order. Why? Come on junior, it’s the rule!