Tennessee Bar Association Takes on Esquire Magazine

Concerned that the unauthorized practice of law is beginning to “get out of hand”, the Tennessee Bar Association (TBA) recently announced that is has started a campaign to ban the sale of Esquire magazine throughout the state. While recent studies show that Esquire is read by less than .5% of Tennessee’s population, TBA President Haley Crutchinson deemed the move “vital to preserving the unique and proud role that the esquire designation holds in Tennessee society.”

In a press release distributed last week, Mr. Crutchinson pointed out that since colonial times, the title Esquire has been used to designate one trained to practice law. “To allow Esquire magazine to profit from the centuries of hard work that lawyers have had to put in to protect this designation is downright criminal,” hollered an irate Crutchinson during a speech at a TBA banquet in Nashville last month. “Further, I am worried that the average Tennessean will be misled by the advice that’s in the magazine. Nothing could be worse than what Esquire has been doing to undermine the special relationship that has always existed between attorney and client.”

Esquire public relations director Stuart Molkin has indicated that the company is trying to work with Mr. Crutchinson and the TBA to resolve this issue. “We are always committed to resolving any issues related to our magazine,” explained Mr. Molkin, “but to be honest, we are kind of frustrated with the situation because we really have no idea what Mr. Crutchinson is talking about. The feature story in our last issue was on Hollywood’s best dressed men. Construing that as legal advice is like mistaking a Hillary Clinton campaign flier for the Sport Illustrated swimsuit issue.”

When asked to point to specific instances when the magazine crossed the line, Mr. Crutchinson quickly points to a piece in the March 2007 issue of Esquire titled, “Divorcing with Grace: The Key to Sleeping with Your Secretary and Still Staying Friends with Your Ex-Wife.” “That article basically coached the reader through the difficult legal terrain that comes up when you’re going through a divorce,” explained the twice divorced Crutchinson. “It even suggested ways that men could make sure that ‘the kid’ would end up with Mom so as not to cramp the new bachelor’s style. Not only is this terrible advice, but it will only make our jobs as lawyers more difficult.”

Unfortunately for both sides, this incident has garnered national attention…and embarrassment. During his monologue last night, comedian Jay Leno said, “Don’t you think Tennessee lawyers should worry a little less about the unauthorized practice of law and a little more about the fact that there basically aren’t any laws in Tennessee?” Not to be outdone, Dave Letterman took a swipe at Esquire, claiming the only thing it should be concerned about being banned for is the “incompetent practice of journalism.”

Reached for comment on this issue at his Beverly Hills home last week, Esquire poster-child George Clooney simply stated that “none of this ever would have happened had somebody picked up the phone and called Michael Clayton.” Clooney then informed Litination that he was smiling seductively before asking if Esquire was still planning to name him the sexiest man alive for the eighth time in ten years.